Revisit

So comes the time to write some stuff again in this journal of sorts. The intent is really, like, three fold. Make some more contact with folks that I can't reach any other way, the documenting of my ever changing moods, and the possibility of this simple blog mutating into something bigger, faster, stronger, better.

ROWR!

I get all antsy and stuff.

Seeing on largeheartedboy.com wilco has announced some new dates. 2-3 I could easily make. This will be on my mind for a while. I think I am nuts, also. I am all anxious and stuff. I don't wanna miss a show if I can help it. Even though going to Wilco will only bring me profound emotional pain.


This keyboard sucks.

The Gold Box

Why?

Everyday I check my Amazon Gold Box, I have a Prada pocketbook(ladies) and a Big Johnson level and/or tape measure. Super lame.

Just livin' the dream

2nd shift at the airplane motor factory

Cat Power - Empty Shell

So It's been like six weeks...

I have been giving alot of thought to what I need to do to get upright again. I really need to start making good memories. I have so many reminders of my recent past. The handwriting on a piece of paper, trinkets sent to me just for fun, pictures and thoughts of the old dog. I can hardly even listen to Wilco. Correction, I never listen anymore---how fucked up is that???? The themes of so many of the songs just cause me to weep. Anyway, all this shit is dominating me and I can't allow that any longer. I really need some closeness to a person or two, a fucking hobby or something.

I feel like I come across as sooo needy when I meet someone who interests me. I don't really mean women either specifically. So I spend alot of time with imaginary friends on the internet...

Got served

A sheriff stopped by Sunday to say hello and deliver my wife's petition to the court for divorce.

I am thinking about going to Iraq to do maintenance with no intent of comimg back. Maybe an adventure, eh? It would suck to get captured and tortured, though.

Insurance probably wouldn't pay out because...well...duh.

I think I have been in a sustained state of sadness like this before, but I never been this lonely. I need someone to say that they love me. God may have a purpose for me or maybe he'll call me home. I guess maybe I am thinking the comaraderie of other contractors may fill the empty hole inside me. Or at least help somehow. I think maybe I can move somewhere else but then I would be in a spot where no one would even know my name. Might be worse. I'd rather tempt fate.

Saw The Codetalkers last night. Rocked my socks. So did the Jagermeister.

Like this...

http://eclhj555.blogspot.com/

ass.

What a bunch....

of useless bullshit. I was just cruising thru some blogs and there's all this crap. Like bad car loan info. Like spam in blog comments. Sad

You don't know what the sound is darlin'

It is in fact the rain. This is complete bullshit. It rains, like, everyday here...

Ugh.